To Seduce an Earl begins in 1867 at Lady Lavender’s Estate of Seduction (remember that date) – a house of ill repute for the London ladies. Alex Weston’s specialty is seducing young virgins and teaching them the ways of lurve before they’re married off to their gruesome wealthy husbands. Enter Grace Brisbane who thinks she’s at Lady Lavender’s to pick up a book or something, but she’s really been sent by her brother to learn how to seduce his drinking/gambling pal the Earl of Rodrick (he needs the money so’s he can drink and gamble some more). It is insta-love with Alex and Grace, and the rest of the story revolves around Alex’s never-ending pity party about being a “whore”, along with his efforts to escape the clutches of the evil Lady Lavender (she blackmailed him into prostitution at age 13).

OK, so I know the whorehouse catering to the ladies is a bit of a stretch, but taxes were hell this year and I really needed some brain candy, but fluff or no, I still expect a somewhat realistic historical setting and you aren’t going to get it here (more on this subject later). The language and mindset are much too modern, all our virginal heroine needed was a couple of heavy pettings and she knew exactly how to handle a man’s you-know-what without any cribbing from Alex. No shy young Victorian Miss here. Speaking of language, be warned because the “F” bomb is dropped frequently, and “cock” is abused to death. I began wishing for Bertrice Small and her “manroot”. Almost.

Then there are the typos. I believe this is self-published, but you still would think someone would look at the final product before putting it on the market, wouldn’t you?

lavacious

I believe that should be lascivious.

No taundry sexuall affair as most women would have admitted to him.

Either groppping women…

Everything he held dare…

Editor, wherefore art thou?

Now back to the historical setting. I understand that some readers want a sexed up wallpaper romance, and I’m not knocking your reading preferences, but I am not one of them. Towards the end of the book Alex and Grace are exploring a storage room at a museum filled with Russian artifacts.

She glanced toward the case again. Royal artifacts, most likely. She stepped closer, focusing on the card in the case. “Czar Nicholas the Second,” she read.

Remember I said the story began in 1867? I’m more forgiving of older romances written in the days before you could look up historical details with a click of the mouse, but nowadays this kind of EPIC FAIL sloppiness is inexcusable. Toss in the most long-winded boring epilogue ever and you get a book deserving of no stars. Not one.

Supposedly there are two more books planned in this series telling the stories of two other men at Lady Lavender’s, but I’ll be passing on that ride, Kindle freebie or no.

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